All posts tagged: reflection

Artist date

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Going on a date with myself! The notion of the artist date came to me from the book The Artist’s Way a number of years ago. It involves going out by yourself to do something fun and creative to nurture your inner artist. Last Saturday we went to explore the Portland Art Museum. Since I have been painting more I realized that I haven’t really been looking at other people’s art, and can’t quite remember the names for the various art movements and styles. Time to get inspired! First I went upstairs to the American traditional paintings. After about 20 minutes my mind was swimming. So many different styles of putting paint on paper! They must have spent hundreds of hours making some of those. Such intricate details, fine brush strokes. Did they paint with a single bristle? Who even has time for that these days? How might I integrate what I see into my own work? Needing to sit down and stare into space. Digest the thoughts and impressions. To find that balance point between …

Clearing Roadblocks

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A nice camping trip to the east side of Mt. Hood. Some folks call it Wy’east over there. The mountain itself is called Lookout Mountain. I’m sure there are other names, but I just remember how to get there. As I pulled on to the dirt road leading up the mountain I saw some fallen trees by the side of the road and it reminded me of the MovNat video my trainer from Bootcamp showed me. I started to tell my friend S about it, how the guy ran around in the woods half naked and barefoot. He jumped off cliffs into a pile of pebbles and dragged around huge logs with his bare hands. Then we turned the bend to our campground and right before us was an enormous pile of downed trees blocking the whole road. We both had to laugh at that synchronicity. Being adventurous we jumped out assessed the situation. We decided that if we moved all the smaller logs we could drive around the main roadblock and make it to …

On the inner plane you can not lie

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When I work with little children I listen to the subtle voices, as much as possible. People communicate, just like plants and animals, silently on the inner plane. It is easiest to hear when we’re not talking, or with little children. Little children don’t know how to lie, they just tell it how they see it. What is inside them comes out. But words are tricky and soon they learn that they can say things that are not “true” and that has all sorts of interesting effects. As adults we swim in lies, so many we hardly know they are there. Beliefs, Illusions, Stories, … call them what you will, the things we tell ourselves and each other that aren’t real and then try hard to live in accordance with. I spend much of my time in meditation trying to sort that out and find my way back to Reality. Plants live there, and little children. On the inner plane you can not lie, only pretend you don’t hear.

Is all this healing work worth it?

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Recently, on my way to herb school, I remembered a class from last year where a fellow student had helped me work on the chronic pain in my shoulder.  “Hmm, I haven’t really had that issue in months.” I thought to myself. “I wonder what else has improved in the past year or so. ” I, like many people, have an ongoing list of health issues that I struggle with. Currently it is my slow digestion that I am most focused on. It occupies a lot of my time and thought, to tweak my diet and herbs, massage my belly, focus on letting go of what I no longer need with ease … As I’m working with these little daily changes I get impatient and sometimes it’s hard to see the big picture.  I get frustrated with how slowly things change. Is all this healing work worth it? Sound familiar? But really, are they that slow to change? Here’s my health inventory. As I said, my neck and shoulders are no longer in chronic pain. …

Some things I really like

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Walking in the sun is one of my favorite activities. As is thinking about things to write. Today I’ll write about some things I like. I like the way the new Tulip Poplar leaves glow in the sunshine against the stark blue sky. And the dark squiggly lines the branches make among them. I like the bright yellow dandelions that have taken over the neighborhood. I like the large, brown and grey striped caterpillar that I saw sunning himself on the stem of a weed, perhaps it was wild lettuce. I’m still working to identify that one. I like the feeling of pebbles and stones, grass and warm cement under my feet as I walk. I like the satisfying ache in my muscles that reminds me of last night’s late night of Contact Improv Dancing. I like my little heater behind my back that takes the chill off as I type in my little room. I like being able to write and publish my thoughts to the world. Ahh. So many nice things in life. …

What is the point?

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I pause in the road watching the mist roll across the pavement. The sun is warming the water left behind by a freak March snow flurry. I consider taking a picture of the mist. But it is so fleeting and good results unlikely with my limited camera skills. Besides, just standing there and watching the beauty unfurl and curl and sweep away is completely satisfying. This is what I am fed by. Moments of art created by the hands of nature. Nothing to do but enjoy it. After a bit I notice I am contemplating my own nature. Clearly I could bask in the beauty for a very long time. But I don’t, I move on, am moved on by the question/ demand almost : “What is the point here? What is is for? How does this serve, contribute, inspire another?” The urging pushes me into action. Or perhaps I should say “terrorizes me”. I am a creature of our productive results oriented culture. Everything is supposed to be for something. Even a fleeting vision …

Digestion

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I am re-colonizing my intestinal tract. Chicken broth, fermented foods, veg juices and leaving out the sugar and junk that feeds the unhealthy bacteria. They say our gut is almost like a second brain. It has so many nerve cells. As my gut cleanses I feel my mind clear too. Old, outdated thought patterns, the ones that say mean things about me, are slipping away. I don’t need that any more. No need to worry or be anxious so much. Replaced with new thoughts of the beauty all around and the joy in the sun. I find myself sitting, just sitting after a meal and smiling to myself as I digest a little. The urge to rush off and do a million things set aside for the moment. Nice.

Letting go …

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  There is some point at which we are connected, regardless  as friend or enemy when we go back far enough we are One.   It’s just a matter of knowing how far to let go or how much to embrace until we arrive where it feels right.   There is no “away” they point out in permaculture circles. Nowhere to throw our trash that is truly gone.   What about love? When it ends, does it go away? I think not. Broken hearts may heal. But what was, the possibility and the pain, remain. Love is eternal.   Is it possible to truly let go? To dive into the sea and be free once more?   Perhaps our Oneness is like the ocean of life that we all are swimming in. As that we are One, but at the same time separate entities. Who choose to create bonds and who can let those dissolve again. Indeed we will stay tied by shared memories.   But once we let go far enough our Oneness is …