All posts tagged: coming of age

Seeds are sprouting

I put a tray of starts out on my windowsill a few weeks ago. It’s been cold and grey so it was all just soggy and started to mold. Yesterday I moved the tray into the living room, where I’m still using the heat and it’s much dryer. I was sure nothing would come of it all. But lo! Today seeds are spouting. My first borage plant has risen from the soil. Look at its cute little fuzzy stem. It’s barely even a plant yet. Just white and all bent over. But it promises to be as beautiful as its ancestors. Bright blue shining star flowers, sweet and mucilagenos to eat. I can hardly wait for them to grow up. They are one of my favorite flowers.           And right beside it in another box the ‘evil’ mold has sprouted too. The most delicate strand with little balls of light on top, glowing in the sun. I love mosses, ferns and liverworts. I love fermentations of all sorts and now I …

Talking with God

When I was 13 my world kind of fell apart. At least as far as I could tell. I read about the holocaust. I visited a concentration camp in school. People killing each other in the most brutal ways, just a generation before me, because they were different and they were scared. I read about the looming danger of nuclear war. People might just destroy everything. My parents were getting divorced. We moved to the US with my mom. I lost all my friends over night. Up until this point I had talked with God. I don’t know when we started our conversation, but I remember spending my evenings in conversation with a sweet, gracious being who was the creator of the world. As my sense of the world was undermined, my faith in God started to crumble. No one around me noticed, they were all too busy with their own troubles. I stopped believing. I stopped talking to God. Why would I talk to someone who let so many horrible things happen in this …