When the light shines fully in a physical being when I am filled with divine goodness and love, especially as a a woman, I am in danger in this world, or so it seems.
I walk down a bike path near the woods in a shady neighborhood. Ahead of me there is a small group of men standing. They are smoking and looking off into the woods. Occasionally they turn my way looking somewhat sheepish, like boys who have just done something they shouldn’t have or are about to. Maybe they are drinking, maybe they are just the type who look guilty. I don’t see anything particularly suspicious, and still fear rises up in me. If I go off to sit in the woods to meditate, will I be safe?
Men will come to women, to take something, to release something, to find something that they feel they do not have in themselves. And women are raped, beaten, dominated, controlled, put down and used to compensate for a feeling of lack, unmet need, inadequacy.
There are entire traditions from the Hijab to the Kabuki designed to protect the purity of women from the uncontrollable lust of men. But is it right to cover up women with a hijab, because me can’t handle their beauty, or to ban women kabuki actors because fights might break out among the men who were watching them?
It is not just women who suffer this fate. History and myth abound with stories of holy men, those who have the light and shine it brightly, those who stand out in the crowd with their beauty and spiritual magnificence. They are attacked, beaten, destroyed, betrayed. Able, Joseph, Jesus, Shirdi Baba, Martin Luther King. Their presence inspires love but also fear, jealousy, anger, inadequacy.
All this flashes through my mind as I walk and I feel afraid …
I call upon the Divine. I call upon the light that shines on me and in me and through me. That I might be safe.
As I call upon that my fear recedes behind a confidence and a love. I smile at the men and say “Good Morning!” They are taken a little aback by it. “What?” a gruff man says as if I had spoken something offensive. “Good Morning!” I repeat. And they soften. “Good Morning!” he replies, “It is a good morning, cold but good.” And so I pass by them and I feel my light shining. That it is alright for me to shine in this world.
But as I continue on my walk I still wonder. Are they going to come after me. Are they going to think “Oh, I like how that felt. I want more of that. I want to own that. I want to steal that for myself.”
And this is where I realize that until everyone finds the place in themselves where they can access the light directly from Source. Until everyone is free and healed and flowing in the light, none of us are truly safe. None of us are safe, because as soon as I have the light and you don’t have it and you see it, you want it. And if I’m strong enough and if I’m clear enough I can give it to you, or at least a taste. But then you still need me to get the light. So I need to not learn how to hold the light within me, but also to show you how to access the light within you. That is the mystery of the light. That is the way to heal. That is the way to be safe.
Because, all of us have access to the light, always. We just seem to forget it sometime.
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